Balance

It's a recognized phenomenon that when one aspect of your life falls into place, another falls apart. I believe Bridgette Jones said something like that actually. A little embarrassed to share a quote with her, but moving on.

Recently, my romantic life has started to blossom and become, well, existent. Beyond that, it's good, in an early on still anxious about everything and playing coy kind of way. This is a pleasant change of pace for me. I'm used to being a little bit more Daria loner or Debbie Downer than optimistic and hopeful and even a bit giggly. This is actual behavior that's been known to make me gag, and here I am, being all hand-holdy and stuff. Eek.

But not to worry, because the universe has been sure to keep me knocked down a few pegs. First, my bathroom sink sprung a leak. It wasn't a huge deal, it was the drain pipe, and I did a little DIY doctoring, and have managed to keep it from being a big or expensive problem.

And then my refrigerator stopped cooling. Instead, everything inside got hot and sweaty and smelly and disgusting. I had to throw out several big bags of Costco frozen foods, and everything else (except the vodka). The repair guy was able to come and fix the starter, but let me know that most likely the compressor would go soon too, and then it'd be cheaper to just buy a new fridge (but by no means cheap). Arg.

(BTW- thanks to the friend who was able to spend the afternoon in my apartment waiting for the repair guy, cause I couldn't take the time off work)

And then I took my car in for an oil change (yes, I live in NYC and don't have my car in the city, but out in the suburbs at my parents' house, and still use it whenever I leave Manhattan for a breath of fresh air). Turned out that in addition to just new oil, my car needed a new rear tire, and new brake pads. I was skeptical, but a second opinion turned up the same results, and brakes aren't something you can just wait on. Cha-ching.

I thought, okay, that's three things, I should be in the clear now, right? Ha, yeah right. Haven't you heard that Mercury is in Retrograde, you silly Gemini girl? Things aren't supposed to really straighten back out for another week or so. Just to be clear, I don't usually buy into this kind of stuff. I occasionally check my horoscope, I do a little of the sign compatibility checking with new crushes, but I don't think too much about planetary alignment and such. But check this out: "All machinery and things with moving parts--such as computers, VCRs, camera equipment, garbage disposals, and so forth, will reveal any weak links now."(AstrologyZone) Um, yeah, that does sound familiar.

What that meant for me was that my toilet stopped working. No joke, it's not clogged, I can't just like jiggle the handle. It will not flush. Water goes in, but nothing goes down. It's pretty gross, and grossly fragrant. What does a New Yorker do in this situation? Call her Super, of course. And then call again and leave another message. And then contact the Coop Board and inquire why the super won't return her phone calls. Finally, she just calls a plumber, who schedules an appointment for the night before the aforementioned romantic interest is coming to visit for the weekend.

So, as it happens, that appointment is tonight, and this is an ongoing drama. I am just hoping that the plumber can at least rig it to be workable for the weekend, and then if it ends up being a bigger fix, I can deal with that later.

Please send me happy thoughts! No more technical difficulties! This whole home owner thing isn't seeming so great just now. But the living alone and having a place to myself to invite a certain boy, that part is awfully nice.

Face/Off 2

I've been saving this one up, but I've known for a while that probably my greatest concept for a blockbuster film is Face/Off II -Captain Corelli's Cruise Control. Or Book of Bogus Secrets. Or 8mm Reloaded. Ok, this part could take time to sort out. But the point is, it will be awesome.

While it was perfectly entertaining in the original to watch Nick Cage and John Travolta try to act like each other, the illusion was somewhat ruined by Travolta's multitude of expressions.

I know, it's easy to write Nick off to basically this face, but allow me to be generous. He has a whole range of emotion out there. There is Happy:

Sad:

Confused:

Angry:

No idea where people got the idea that he can't emote.

On the other hand, there would be no better costar for this movie than Keanu Reeves. He too is given a hard time for his emotional range. But check out all of these different expressions in his repertoire. We have thoughtful:

Angry:

Happy:

and the now ubiquitous Sad Keanu:

Now, clearly it is going to really take everything these actors have to embody each other. There are so many little variations and minor movements to master.

Let us imagine the scene where they finally come face to face and want to take each others' face...off. (I so love that part).

Keanu: Whoa.

Cage: It's like looking in a mirror. Only... not.

Keanu: Dude. I know Kung Fu.

Cage: There's only two men I trust. One of 'em's me, and the other's not you.

Keanu: Okay, if you're really us, then what number are we thinking of?

Cage: Snake Eyes!

Keanu: F@%$ Me!

Cage: I'm a little tired, I'm a little wired, and I think I deserve a little appreciation!

Keanu: Vaya Con Dios.

It's actually a lot less violent than the original version. Maybe cause neither of them can figure out what's going on. Certainly not from facial cues. But I bet if we throw in a lot of things blowing up, perhaps a bus, maybe some gun toting cyborgs, some stolen cars, a treasure map, and a motorcycle, no one will even notice the blank faces.

i love the 90s

So I was a teenager in the 90s, I've spent far too many hours watching the VH1 series about the 80s and 90s, and I am writing some fiction set in the 90s. My mind is often back in that time of middle class supremacy and relative peace and prosperity. But this week it seems like everyone else has decided to join me back in my retro-revere.

First, I came across this article about how fashion trends from top TV shows and movies of the 90s are making a comeback. My So Called Life? Empire Records? Saved by the Bell? These are such formative parts of my adolescence, that most likely I am still taking some of my cues from these, if not dressing in plaid skirts and belly shirts all the time anymore (oh, but did I ever parade around the halls of my high school in them). I can admit it, I wanted to be Kelly Kopowski, having to choose between Slater and Zack, and of course ending up with Zack (after a hiatus during that awful Tori season that we all try to forget).

Also, it was a ritual for a while for a couple of my girl friends and I to watch Empire Records every weekend at a sleep over. I am pretty sure every line is still carved in my memory, where things like phone numbers and algebraic equations have been edged out. "Empire Records, open til midnight, this is Mark....Midnight!" Man am I glad to no longer work in retail.

And oh, My So Called Life. I bought the box set, so that I can relive that single season of glory. Finding new "cooler" friends, and letting go of the old ones; having a crush on a guy who doesn't know you exist, until suddenly he does, and you can't think straight, until your best friend hooks up with him instead; being sure your parents are hiding some ugly truth about themselves; wondering if everyone in the world is having sex but you. How are these not universal themes of high school? How did they cancel this show. I'll never really understand, but I'll always feel drawn back into being a self conscious teenager when I watch it.

And will always think of Jared Leto as Jordan Catalano.

So then today, Facebook alerted me to the petition for International 90210 day on Thursday, 9/2/10 (9-02-10). Aren't they clever...or bored. Now, I am always up for any event that means dressing up, and have thought about how I could transform myself a little more into Kelly Taylor or Donna Martin that day. But I can't quite see pulling off a mini-dress at work.

Of course, all of this came on the heels of the NYT article that Elaine Benes from Seinfeld is now a new fashion icon (even though she never was when the show was actually on). I'm not quite ready to jump on the flowered moomoo bandwagon.

The real question is, do I go dig the old flannel shirts and ripped jeans out of retirement at my parents' house, or just let other people play out this out to the inevitable backlash? I think I may have to let this pass, only dusting off my Doc Martins, because those never stop being awesome.

WerePanda activate

Sometimes the full moon affects me and brings out a bit of lunacy, I'll admit it. I completely believe that like the tides, the phases of the moon have an effect on people (who are after all about 60% water).

And being that I enjoy sci-fi/fantasy, I have given it enough thought to decide that obviously the animal I would turn into were I to become a Were is a werepanda. Naturally.

But for those in the know about Weres, their beast can come out not just from the pull of the moon, but also from extreme agitation. And let me say that I was on the verge of Hulk-ing out today, after reading a particularly unprofessional and rude email from a coworker.

I work in a sales department, and am responsible for making sure that the reps know what is going on with new releases, so that they can better sell them. Makes sense, yes? So the week before new releases come out, I send them pertinent information, including what advertising campaigns have been set up. I've been doing this for months, since this became a part of my position, I send a request to the various Ad/Promo departments for information, they send me what they have, the reps find out, and are able to sell.

Apparently this isn't as easy as it sounds for some people. Today I received a long disgruntled email stating that I should have been able to get this information for myself, (though it hasn't been discussed at any of our weekly meetings; yes, I do pay attention), and they don't have time to help me, so stop asking. Here is a direct quote, just to show that I am not exaggerating and becoming irrationally irritated:

“Please do not ask anyone in my department for this information unless you have exhausted all other avenues and have come up lacking. I'm sorry to have to say it so bluntly, but we do not have time to help you.”

So after I picked my jaw up, and brushed myself off (feeling the bristles of Panda fur rising to the surface, the desire to club someone with a bamboo pole growing stronger), I forwarded the email on to my boss, who may have the clout to verbally abuse this individual in return. I doubt my telling him that I'm at the end of the avenues, and therefore asking for information would provide me with a more helpful response.

What I do know for sure is that sending me the information I asked for would have been considerably faster and a better use of time that sending me a long email about how he doesn't have time to help me.

Distraction/ True Blood

Mentally, I am still on vacation. I just got back from ten days (not nearly enough) in Martha's Vineyard: beach, books, boogie boarding, bike riding, loBster...ok, I'm out of B things. But it was a great time, as always, with the extra bonus of a little summer romance thrown in.

So now I'm back at work, totally distracted and having a hard time actually remembering to do anything that I'm supposed to. Really, I'm lucky I didn't get run over by a bike on my way to work this morning, I had my music on and wasn't paying any attention to the hustle of the city.

So along with the loads of laundry I did last night, and instead of the grocery shopping or anything else useful I could have done, I caught up on the two episodes of True Blood that I missed while away. And I have to say, I'm not so sure about the ways that this season is deviating from the books. This is supposed to be when Sookie decides Bill is no good for her, after he lies and goes to Lorena, and then almost drains her while raping her in the trunk of a car. So they had a little bit of that on the show, and then they go off and have make-up sex. What about Alcide, the hot, good natured werewolf, who, yes, is a little pathetic in his obsessive feelings for Debbie (way more trailer trash in the show than in the books), but still would be worth having a little fun with. Come on, take a look and tell me you disagree.

But what it really comes down to is the fact that in this season, Eric is supposed to save her and arouse her interests. He is not supposed to provide distraction for a Vampire boy-toy (who kept getting in the way of all the good Eric nudity, may I add, so really just brought the staking on himself).

I do like Alan Ball's decision to keep Lafayette around, because he's awesome, and his new little romantic side plot is pretty cute. And the addition of Jessica doesn't bother me, though she seems kind of extraneous this season. But really, all of this Sam's family story I could do without. I don't care about his weird dog fighting mother and brother (who isn't even cute, so really, what's the point?).

And yes, from the books, I know what Sookie is and what this other world is, that Bill has absolutely no place in visiting, that was frustrating. I'm curious where this season is heading, and super excited for season 4, if it sticks pretty well to that book, which is my favorite in the series.

But back to vacation. I would happily trade in my TV and WiFi to go live full time on the island (of course they have those things, but my house there does not, which is fine by me). Of course, should a hot viking vampire attack me in the woods by my cabin, all the better ;-)

Unlucky Leo? (SPOILER ALERT)

I'm a big fan of Leonardo DiCaprio. Of course I am, I'm a girl in her 20s who grew up on Leo, and have come to admire him all the more as his career has evolved beyond teen heart throb to Oscar nominated actor.

Why then would I question his luck? My concern for the golden boy comes less for the actor and more for his characters, who are almost all terribly unlucky. I won't mention them all, but by and large, his roles are that of tortured men who often either die themselves or suffer the death of a loved one (usually a lover). If they survive, it is to a life of hardship and torment. So here's my question to contemplate as you read on: is it the actor who chooses the role or the role that chooses the actor?

Let's take a stroll down memory lane of Leo's movie roles, shall we? (oh, but spoiler alert, i do plan to say who dies in each film, all the way through Inception).

I'll start with What's Eating Gilbert Grape, a great performance by our leading man, but clearly a character with lots of problems, from the obvious mental handicap to his disinterested brother to his obese house-bound mother (who dies).

On to Basketball Diaries. If you've seen this movie, it's pretty self explanatory why it's on my list. A growing drug addiction comes between him and his goal of basketball greatness, leading him to do truly horrible things to sate his appetite for heroin. No, he doesn't die in this one, but his dreams do.

Oh, Romeo + Juliet, how you shaped my young romantic visions. This is where Leo and I began the love affair we've had in my mind all these years. He was the perfect man to myself and many other young impressionable girls, all of whom felt his angst, which begins as apathy seeking something more, grows to an infatuation with exactly the wrong girl, the forbidden nature of the love adding all the more to its potency, and then the inevitable denouement as first she appears to die, then he dies to be with her, she awakes, finds him dead, and shoots herself beside him. We all know the story, it's an age old tragedy, and his emotive powers brought it home for us.

And then his next tragic love story, Titanic. Sure, plenty of people deride a story that begins with a girl trying to kill herself by jumping off the Titanic pre-iceberg. But I think everyone took a guilty pleasure in Celine Dion after that movie (which I think I showed restraint in only attending in the theater 3 times). Jack, the starving artist who wins tickets onto the largest boat in the world, becomes intrigued by a rich girl with ennui, and has a short lives love affair that ends when they can't both fit on a floating door and his chivalry allows him to freeze to death. Plenty of people got mad at Rose (the adorable Kate Winslet) for allowing him to perish in the frigid North Atlantic, but it's part of his character to save her above himself, and part of why we all loved him so. Alas, once more, he died for love.

Now, we didn't see a ton of Leo in the aftermath of Titanic and it's backlash. He did a few strange movies (The Man in the Iron Mask was terrible, The Beach was a strange twisted trip through a mystery island rife with insanity, perhaps a precursor for some of his roles to come later). And I must admit I never saw Gangs of New York. I know, strike against me. But the one that really felt like his comeback film was Catch Me If You Can. It was a fun movie, with Tom Hanks chasing him around all over the country and the world as he pretended to be a pilot, a doctor, a lawyer, anything that would help him maintain a lifestyle he never could have afforded legally. But beneath this all is the story of a little boy who watched his parents torn apart by money and just wants a stable life back. He tries to marry a nice girl and be a part of her family, but his lies catch up with him, and she can't take who he really is. But where things really fall apart for him is when he tries to escape (after a stay in Parisian jail) back to his mother, only to find she has made a new family for herself, seemingly forgetting all about him. So our poor downtrodden hero once again is forced to a life of drudgery alone with only Tom Hanks' character by his side.

And then Aviator. A study in madness via Howard Hughes. I don't think I really need to say much of anything about why this role was profoundly disturbing. Sure, he dated Katharine Hepburn for a while, and was able to fly the Spruce Goose, at least a little ways. But the layers of madness that descend on him thereafter, the lines of jars of urine, the fingernails. Even when he attempts to clean up and pull himself together, the paranoia and compulsions continue to the very end. I think this was the movie that really introduced Leo to us as a serious actor capable of handling complicated and confounding characters.

Thereafter, his movies are all powerful, evocative, and riddled with death and deception. The Departed, a great film, where our hero is bullied into spying on the bad guys from inside, and ultimately killed (though he does get to sleep with the real bad guy (Matt Damon)'s fiancee first). But I believed him as a Bostonian and as a guy coming out of a rough past, trying to make good. However, I think my favorite character in the movie was Mark Walberg's Dignam, I mean what a prick, but eventually, the only one to see through what was really happening and get the last word (or bullet).

In Blood Diamond he's a mercenary (Danny Archer), greedy and looking for his ticket out of Africa and its constant warfare, regardless of who falls by the wayside in his pursuit. It is in this he falls in with Solomon (Djimon Hounsou), a man ripped from his family and desperate to get back to them, as well as Maddy (Jennifer Connelly), a reporter with some useful connections. Together, they fight their way to find a large diamond, Solomon's family, and a way out of Africa. Alas, Archer grows a conscience along the way, and an attachment to his fellow travelers, which leads him to sacrifice himself for their welfare. Once again, our hero dies in this one.

Revolutionary Road (based on a wonderful book by Richard Yates) places Leo once again opposite Titanic costar Kate Winslet in a story of young dreams and ambitions sliding seamlessly into the drudgery of everyday suburban life. The couple who were so hopeful for adventures and opportunities settled for a little cottage in a quiet community, children, and the 50's life of a housewife and bored, unfaithful business man. They decide to make a change, to do something about the monotony of their lives, to move to Paris and just see what happens. Alas, even as they formulate their plans and regain hope, Kate's character becomes pregnant again, and they must face that the financial realities of another baby won't allow them to make this move. The tension of options not legally available in this age flood them until Kate's character finds she must take things into her own hands or drown. Leo is then left to discover his wife bleeding to death, his baby gone, and himself left alone to raise his two remaining children.

Lest we think this is the worst that could happen to one of his characters, along came Shutter Island. I must admit, once I made my way fully through this movie, I sympathized with old Teddy Daniels (Leo) in wanting to retreat into a world of his own imaginings rather than face reality. Yes, I am giving it all away, I apologize, but I did warn you. Throughout, I enjoyed the great mindfuck of it. By the time he saw rats covering the cliff side, I was starting to wonder just what was up with him (but maybe they had slipped him drugs). Not until he crumbles the plastic gun in his hand after trying to shoot the doctor with it was I convinced. And then the horrible memory returns to him, his insane wife drowning all three of their children, still not seeing that she had done anything wrong, and him finding no choice but to kill her, as much as he loved her. Yes, I think this one takes the cake as his most tortured and destroyed character. And to date, the best mindfuck film he'd done.

That is, until Inception. I adored this movie. This kind of sci-fi trippy ride is exactly the kind of movie I enjoy. Sliding through other peoples dreams in layer upon layer of non-reality, never quite sure you are really awake, in the real world at all. And we are set up with a man who has been so scarred by previous experiences in the dreamscape of his existence that he can't even trust himself to design the dream worlds anymore. He is haunted, literally, by the memory of his dead wife, who appears to make trouble for him, to punish him for letting her die alone. In the midst of all of this emotional drama, a gang of dream bandits must plant an idea in a man's mind in such a way that it can grow naturally as though spawned in his own mind. This involves three layers deep of dream within a dream, the danger of losing themselves in the limbo of the subconscious mind, and precise timing in order to complete the job before waking. The concept is fabulously intriguing, the actors all contribute (Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt notably), and the film is able to leave you not quite sure what's real (to the point of sparking incredible online debate over the ending).

I love the movies Leo has been choosing the past few years, and while I hate to see him tortured over and over again, he plays it so well, I can't help enjoying it. I mean, when we are subjected to performances by Nicholas Cage and Keanu Reeves, he's just such a breath of fresh air. So Leo, he's hoping you find more happiness in your real life than on the screen.

Plus he saves polar bears, how can you not love him??

SYTYCD

While I normally shun reality TV, I do have a soft spot for So You Think You Can Dance. Because It's dancing, and how is that not fun? I've taken dance classes since I was in elementary school (don't let this fool you, I'm not very good), I took hip hop classes in LA at 24 Hour Fitness (one of the only white girls in the class, and loving it, so much fun), I like musicals with big dance numbers, and the only real chick flick I own is Center Stage.

So back to the show. And spoiler alert if you aren't caught up (through 7/21).

I think there must be a curse on the season first off, what's with all the injuries? Alex getting hurt was a major upset from the get go. He could have easily won, all the judges thought so, and then he's benched, in a cast. Suddenly, it's a free for all. And then Ashley, who would have been voted off soon anyway, like the rest of the girls. And this week, Billy (although I have a suspicion he feared this was his last week anyway, and it looks better to go out injured than get voted off). So we will assume that though Billy's injuries aren't too serious, he will be the one going home this week.

So onto the remaining five. First of all, I admit it, I love Kent like everyone else (except Mia with her, "everyone loves you, apparently," super sass line last night). He is innocent and charming and a regular Peter Pan kid, who can fly because he thinks happy thoughts. And because he is such an audience favorite, and we are the voters, he'll most likely be in the top two. But he is a good dancer, and I thought he pulled off that stepping routine with Twitch pretty damn well last night, especially for a skinny white boy from Wapakoneta, OH. I really would have liked to see him and Billy doing that together, but it probably would have been rough on Billy. Oh, and I think Cat has wanted to be his cougar since day one.

The other dancer I see going to the final two is Lauren, the last girl left standing. She is also a crown favorite, and rightly so. She has handled every genre of dance put to her with great skill, including being "bad" last night with Twitch. The girl can dance, no question.

On to Robert (who looks the way I picture Clark Kent looking). Actually I'm surprised he's from LA and not farm country. But anyway, he is a skillful dancer, who for some reason hasn't won over the audience. The judges can't figure out why either. But every week he assumes the role given to him, dances his ass off, and smiles for the camera. I think he should be in the top three, but the voters may not give him that chance.

And then Jose. I really want to borrow the line from Full House here and say No way Jose! He is continuing to not impress me. I know he has a smile that seduces the voters, but he doesn't have the skill to back it up. Honestly, when a great choreographer has to figure out a dance where he barely has to do any dancing because he doesn't have the technique for it, that really says it all. I liked the concept of Sonya's dance too, but he never gave me the sense that he was losing control, that he might fall, and so I don't think he even pulled that off. And then in the Paso Doble with AdeChike, he may have looked good and strong with his shirt off, but you could tell that AdeChike out-danced him. I think it's time to stop with the injuries and vote him off.

As for AdeCike, just showing up Jose in a dance isn't really saying much. I think the boy has a beautiful smile which takes him a long way, but he is getting out of his depth here. He has the technique, but not the versatility they are looking for, and doesn't show enough personality for the audience to really connect with him. I'd like to see him outlast Jose, because he deserves to, but he isn't hanging around to the end.

One last comment: where is Mary Murphy??? I like Mia Michaels as a choreographer. As a judge, she is awfully harsh, and we already have Nigel for that. I want the Hot Tomali train!!