So I met a potential Puppycakes over the weekend. Now comes the waiting game. In order to enter the next qualifying round, he will have to call me. There are many schools of thought about how long to wait to call, how long is too soon or too long. So I am presenting my own analysis. Please add your thoughts.
Now, if you should expect a call at all may depend on how numbers are exchanged. If he enters you in his phone, or has you do it, you know for sure he has it. If it's just written down somewhere or given on a card, don't count on it not getting lost. If after entering the number, he texts or calls you so that you have his as well, that's a clear indication that he wants to open the road for communication. And he doesn't think you are a potential stalker.
Now for the time line:
-Day/Night of meeting: way too soon, you should be weary of how desperate this guy may be. You remember that horribly uncomfortable scene in Swingers? Exactly.
-Next Day: depending on what went on in the first meeting, this is acceptable. It's a bit soon if you just talked over drinks and traded numbers, but if things got physical, it's OK to do a next day follow up.
-Two/Three days later: Back to Swingers, this is $money$. This is casual, but still interested, this shows that they put some thought into getting in touch with you, want to see you again, but are not desperate for validation.
-Up to a Week: Within the row of the calendar, you are still in the zone. We all get busy sometimes, or nervous, or preoccupied, and don't get around to making a call we know we need to until a little bit later. It's not the most flattering, but not hopeless yet.
-One Week to a Month: This puts you pretty solidly in Booty Call territory. He had a good enough time with you to want to get together again, maybe "have some dessert" with you, but he's not interested in making any real dates, or spending any more thought on you than a little night action requires.
-Any longer than this, and he may just be cleaning out his phone, trying to figure out who you were, and why he doesn't remember. Or he has pocket dialed you. Or he has confused you with another girl from another night. But in any case, he doesn't care if he ever sees or talks to you again, and can't really remember who you were anyway.
Does that about sum it up?
I think in order to save women from insanity over circumstances like this there are three key steps: 1. Don't compare anything to the movies with real life, because honestly, it's a movie for a reason. 2. If a guy likes you, he'll call--no matter if it's two days, a week or the latter--but if he likes you, he won't wait a week.
ReplyDelete3. No matter what happened on the first said date, whether he calls or not, you did everything right.