An old man turned ninety-eight He won the lottery















and died the next day

It's a black fly in your Chardonnay

It's a death row pardon two minutes too late

It's like rain on your wedding day

It's a free ride when you've already paid

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye He waited his whole damn life to take that flight

And as the plane crashed down he thought 'Well isn't this nice...'

It's a traffic jam when you're already late

It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break

It's like ten thousand spoons

when all you need is a knife

It's meeting the man of my dreams

And then meeting his beautiful wife

And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
NO. I DO NOT. IT'S NOT IRONIC, IT JUST SUCKS. ARE WE CLEAR NOW?
amen, soul sistaaaa!
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