Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Waiting Game

So I met a potential Puppycakes over the weekend. Now comes the waiting game. In order to enter the next qualifying round, he will have to call me. There are many schools of thought about how long to wait to call, how long is too soon or too long. So I am presenting my own analysis. Please add your thoughts.

Now, if you should expect a call at all may depend on how numbers are exchanged. If he enters you in his phone, or has you do it, you know for sure he has it. If it's just written down somewhere or given on a card, don't count on it not getting lost. If after entering the number, he texts or calls you so that you have his as well, that's a clear indication that he wants to open the road for communication. And he doesn't think you are a potential stalker.

Now for the time line:

-Day/Night of meeting: way too soon, you should be weary of how desperate this guy may be. You remember that horribly uncomfortable scene in Swingers? Exactly.

-Next Day: depending on what went on in the first meeting, this is acceptable. It's a bit soon if you just talked over drinks and traded numbers, but if things got physical, it's OK to do a next day follow up.

-Two/Three days later: Back to Swingers, this is $money$. This is casual, but still interested, this shows that they put some thought into getting in touch with you, want to see you again, but are not desperate for validation.

-Up to a Week: Within the row of the calendar, you are still in the zone. We all get busy sometimes, or nervous, or preoccupied, and don't get around to making a call we know we need to until a little bit later. It's not the most flattering, but not hopeless yet.

-One Week to a Month: This puts you pretty solidly in Booty Call territory. He had a good enough time with you to want to get together again, maybe "have some dessert" with you, but he's not interested in making any real dates, or spending any more thought on you than a little night action requires.

-Any longer than this, and he may just be cleaning out his phone, trying to figure out who you were, and why he doesn't remember. Or he has pocket dialed you. Or he has confused you with another girl from another night. But in any case, he doesn't care if he ever sees or talks to you again, and can't really remember who you were anyway.

Does that about sum it up?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

First Kiss

I realized the other day that I cannot remember my last first kiss with someone I really liked. One I had time to imagine and dream about for a while before it finally actually happened. Part of the problem is that I haven't met anyone in a while that I've really longed to be with, really built up a strong attachment for, something deeper than an attraction or a crush. The other part is that it seems after a certain age, a kiss is never just a kiss. It’s a make out session, leading to more. It may just be me, but no never seems to mean no anymore; it's more like a challenge to be overcome. But that is another tangent for another day.
I remember in high school when I had time for a crush to develop into serious like, leading up to the eventual first kiss, and I remember those kisses. I remember the butterflies and the nervous tingles. Movies and TV make it out like those things happen every day to everyone, teen or adult, single or coupled or married, like those kinds of connections just arise out of nowhere all the time, and lead up to one intense spark-filled kiss. Granted, I like the movies and shows where it leads up to more than a kiss far more than the cheesy chick flick romantic comedies, but even those romps begin with spark that burns into a passionate fire.
I think that it's a difficult world out there for singles. And the idea of romance may be gone, at least in the cities. Maybe it's the fast pace of the modern world, maybe it's the mass of people around at every moment, too many options and not enough feeling about any of them. As much as I enjoy the hot vampire sex in mass market fiction these days, I can't help longing for one really great fulfilling first kiss with someone I genuinely like. And that's all I have to say about that.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


It is snowing like crazy outside, and I'm still sitting at my desk at work watching it. Sigh. But soon I can go outside in it to get home...sigh. And when I get home, I will make hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps, the favorite winter drink in my apartment. I will curl up on the couch in pj pants and fuzzy socks and a sweater and watch some tropical movie that takes me away from the snow. Of course, it will be blasting heat from the radiator in my apartment, so maybe I'll be in a tank top and shorts watching some cold weather movie that reminds me that outside, it really is wintry today.
So stay warm, friends, and enjoy the winter, wherever you may be.

Monday, February 8, 2010

a little romantic comedy

Well, I'm not sure how romantic it is really, but certainly in that vein. Monday morning, I'm walking from the subway to work, huddled in my coat and hat against the wind, which my dress and tights aren't really helping to keep off of me. As I crossed the street, what politically correct research tells me I should refer to as a "little person" crossed towards me. I may have colorfully used other terms in telling this anecdote throughout the day. But really, I didn't look at him closely enough to know whether he was technically a midget or a dwarf or vertically challenged or a person of restricted growth (that's quite the large term).
As we passed each other, he said to me, "I like your legs," and I gave him the half smile I use to indulge strangers who talk to me in the street. But as I reached the other side, my face took on a much more confused expression. Did that just happen? Did he mean my legs or my tights? Were they just at eye level? Does he think he can say whatever he wants because he has nothing to lose? That was pretty ballsy.
My mom's theory is that by Friday an especially tall man will look down at me and say, "nice hair." Then my week will have some nice symmetry.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Superbowl Sunday

Ah, Superbowl. A day of sitting, eating, drinking, and watching others run around sweating their asses off. But let's be serious here. Mostly, we are watching the scoreboard, comparing it to our pool scorecards, and waiting for the best commercials to really crack us up.
Theoretically, everyone (including all of those who haven't watched a single game all season) are seated in front of the TV for 4 hours or so to watch two great teams face off in the final challenge of the year, to determine which team is the best and which is merely a runner up. But the two or so plays that take place between commercial breaks aren't really enough to hold our attention. We need the many breaks, the many snacks, the many drinks, the many flashes of Kim Kardasian and Archie Manning on the sidelines, anything to distract from the actual competition.
Every year, I have gathered with friends over too much food to "watch" the game, but with a few exceptions, I haven't really cared much who won. I am (in team loyalty) a Patriots fan (yes, it has a lot to do with Tom Brady), and so those years, I felt a certain investment in the game at hand. But for the most part, I just wanted to get together with friends on a chilly Sunday to have a few drinks, a few laughs, and try to forget that the next day I would have to go to school or work.
So pretend all you want to be genuinely invested in the game, but we all know the truth. Enjoy your wings, subs, pizza, and beer everyone, and have a nice Superbowl night.

Monday, February 1, 2010


If you are not one of the girls who share lunch and laughs with me in the storage room every afternoon, you may wonder what the title of my blog means. I will reveal a piece of that today.
Standard pet names include things like sweetie, baby, honey, sugar. Anyone who has had to spend significant time around a couple using these names finds themselves soon nauseated. I knew a guy in high school who called all of his girls "hon" so that he wouldn't accidentally mix up their names, since he was usually involved with more than one girl at a time. Generic pet names are a great tool for cheaters.
There are few people who can get away with things like "babe" without sounding like a jerk. I know couples who manage to make terms like "dumbass" and "big head" sound affectionate. But to me, something more whimsical, creative, and fun, something guaranteed to make you smile whenever you hear it, that's the mark of a great moniker.
For a time in one relationship, I was called "muffin butt" (this was before the term muffin top came into common usage or became a hit song on '30 Rock'). I cracked up every time I heard it.
Enter Puppycakes. What a fabulous pet name it would make. I plan to use it at my earliest convenience. I'm also a fan of sugarbum, and could go for puddin' face, though it may be too open to baby talk (yuck).
I encourage you to have fun with your nick names and pet names, because if you can't make someone laugh, it's really just not worth it.