Saturday, February 13, 2010

First Kiss

I realized the other day that I cannot remember my last first kiss with someone I really liked. One I had time to imagine and dream about for a while before it finally actually happened. Part of the problem is that I haven't met anyone in a while that I've really longed to be with, really built up a strong attachment for, something deeper than an attraction or a crush. The other part is that it seems after a certain age, a kiss is never just a kiss. It’s a make out session, leading to more. It may just be me, but no never seems to mean no anymore; it's more like a challenge to be overcome. But that is another tangent for another day.
I remember in high school when I had time for a crush to develop into serious like, leading up to the eventual first kiss, and I remember those kisses. I remember the butterflies and the nervous tingles. Movies and TV make it out like those things happen every day to everyone, teen or adult, single or coupled or married, like those kinds of connections just arise out of nowhere all the time, and lead up to one intense spark-filled kiss. Granted, I like the movies and shows where it leads up to more than a kiss far more than the cheesy chick flick romantic comedies, but even those romps begin with spark that burns into a passionate fire.
I think that it's a difficult world out there for singles. And the idea of romance may be gone, at least in the cities. Maybe it's the fast pace of the modern world, maybe it's the mass of people around at every moment, too many options and not enough feeling about any of them. As much as I enjoy the hot vampire sex in mass market fiction these days, I can't help longing for one really great fulfilling first kiss with someone I genuinely like. And that's all I have to say about that.

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